You pathetic, colorless creature

I say on here what I would not say to your face. Not because I am afraid of you, nor is it because I want to maintain our friendship. Instead, I hope that one day (soon) perhaps you will read this and think to yourself, "Why am I so boring? So lacking in taste? Is this about me?" You poor creature, all you do is sit in front of your machine and play pointless puzzles all day long. "They're not pointless," you retort. Yes, yes they are. Quit chatting on AIM with friends from your high school or people you don't know in real life. Quit downloading useless programs to make your computer "sexy". It's a computer; it will never give you a blow job, and it will never give you a hand job. It may assist but so can one of the opposite sex, and then some. But hey, if you want to do it with a guy, that's your decision, not mine.
You go home every weekend, but you claim every other. Quit letting your parents control every aspect of your life. You're in college; you're (# between 18-21). Either way, the law recognizes you as an adult. Grow up. Man up. Quit letting your parents have you by the scrotum. So you may have screwed up earlier in your college career, but that doesn't mean you can't have fun anymore. Drink a little, party a little, go out and bang an a** or two. What's the point of living if you plan to spend it in your room all day long? You didn't even choose to live with people that you enjoy! Who the hell does that?! You don't have a car, which is fine. That's not your fault. But your parents tease you ever so often about giving you one. Are they going to or not? Ask them!!! WTF! YOU'RE (# between 18-21) AND YOU CAN'T STAND UP TO YOUR PARENTS! You love them? Good, any good son should. But standing up against them isn't dis-loving them! Did you miss your teenage years or something? Have your balls even dropped?!
College is about making new friends, meeting new sorts of people, having sex and getting drunk and not remember which you did first. Education is in there too, but you don't seem to care much for it. As long as you keep HOPE, it seems that your parents don't care. Do something, be something. I can't stand looking at you with your computer and life. I hope someone breaks into your room and steals it away from you. Maybe then you'll start to have fun. Maybe then you'll begin to live. Maybe then I'll tell you this while you weep in your hands, mourning your lost PC. I am rude and I am mean. Perhaps it is me who sees you wrong. Perhaps I am the person who has in fact wronged you, but you wouldn't know, you're too dull to realize it. I am sincere; you know that far too well. I also know how to have a good time, and in all honesty, it's not with you. I won't answer any more of your phone calls. I won't call you again. I am deleting you out of my phone. I will only see you in class on occasion. Work on your self-confidence. The next time I notice you will be the next time I want to be friends again.