To the ballsy motherf*ckers who, in broad daylight, surreptitiously entered my front porch while my roommate was home, careful to not let the door creak, and made off with my keg shell - I dare you to try again.
You are lowlife b*stards and I hope you get what is coming to you... I just hope that you try it again so I get to be the one who gives it to you.
