UGA

Listen, I get it. You're a business. You don't really care about you're customers. You just don't want lawsuits of sorts. You hold a monopoly. We've got to use you, whether we like it or not.

But c'mon, you are all a bunch of a**holes.

I called them this morning, asking whether there was any free parking near the southern end of campus. The lady didn't even let me finish my question before abruptly interrupting me, stating "we do not offer free parking". Well no f**king s**t. Don't you think I know that already? Otherwise I wouldn't have called you. I could have cared less about your overpriced parking lots. I was more interested in areas near south campus. I'm not entirely familiar with the area, otherwise I wouldn't have called you. Then I proceeded to ask if she had any suggestions as to where available side street parking were. if any. Again, she gave me the same crap about "not offering free parking." She was not courteous, she was not understanding. It sounded like to me the only thing she wanted me to do was hangup, and let her read her XXL magazine. What a bitch, seriously. She did suggest that I could do the hour parking at the deck however. 4 bucks an hour, like it wasn't half her hourly rate. Uh huh... as if reasonable in anyways. So I drove to the IM fields to park and rode my bike, which was what I had previously decided on. But it never hurts to call and check to see if there was anything else.

She could have been nice and I wouldn't have vented about this at all. She could have said "I'm sorry sir, we don't offer free parking, however you can park ... yadda yadda yadda." Her attitude on the telephone was absolutely rude and entirely uninviting. But I guess that's what they teach you here, be to the point, don't offer alternatives, and definitely make sure to squeeze as much as possible out of the customer. Mr. Krabs philosophy.

HONKING FOR PEACE SEEMS COUNTER-PRODUCTIVE.

12 BUCKS ISN'T A LIVING WAGE. BESIDES, WHERE DO YOU THINK THAT RAISE COMES FROM? BUDGET CUTS? HAR HAR HAR. YEAH, THINK HIGHER TUITION, THINK HIGHER FEES.

WOMEN AGAINST... SOMETHING... ANYTHING... YEAH, DON'T REMEMBER YOUR MESSAGE, WHY? MAYBE YOU SHOULD RID THE "WOMEN AGAINST" AND JUST BE "NO ... BLAH" NO ONE CARES IF YOUR A MALE, A FEMALE, A SHE-MALE... OR JUST A CONFUSED SACK OF CRAP. NOW IF YOU SAID SLUTS AGAINST TEEN PREGNANCIES, I'D SAY YOU'D GET SOME ATTENTION.

PEOPLE HANDING OUT PETA FLIERS... PLANTS HAVE FEELINGS TOO. PEOPLE ENJOY EATING TASTY ANIMALS, MAYBE PIGS SHOULD HAVE EVOLVED A LITTLE FASTER. BUT I WILL READ THEM AND I WILL LAUGH AT THEM, AND THEN I WILL EAT A BOAT LOAD OF CHICKEN WINGS SOON THEREAFTER.

"A VILLAGE IN KENYA IS MISSING AN IDIOT" << I SAW THIS ONE RECENTLY... WTF DOES THAT MEAN?! IF YOU'RE HINTING AT OBAMA, HE'S FROM HAWAII, THAT'S JUST IGNORANT. IF NOT... WTF DOES THAT MEAN?!

AND PLEASE DON'T HAND ME NEW TESTAMENTS... ANYONE. I DON'T LIKE THEM, I DON'T READ THEM. PERHAPS YOU COULD GIVE THAT MONEY TO A GOOD CHARITY INSTEAD OF WASTING IT ON WASTED PRINTS... HMM?

ANYTHING ELSE?

THESE PROTESTERS HAVEN'T CHANGED MY VIEWS ON ANYTHING. GOOD FOR THOSE, WHOSE VIEWS HAVE BEEN CHANGED.

AGAIN, KEEP DOING WHAT YOU DO, BUT YOU MAY WANT TO CHANGE TACTICS. IF YOU BEAT A DEAD HORSE ENOUGH WITH A STICK, YOU'VE GOT TO CHANGE BLUDGEONING TOOLS. :D

Since I've been my professional program, I've run into several professors with tenure who have absolute disdain for their students. We can't ask questions without them responding to us like we're stupid. They present the information in a way that makes sense to them, and either won't or can't clarify. Hey, @$$holes, we haven't been doing this stuff for 20 years. We don't get it unless it's properly taught to us, especially when there's not even a textbook for the course! One in particular tries to blame our poor performance on test anxiety, us not reading the question thoroughly, any factor other than her incompetence as a teacher. And because the b*tch has tenure there's NOTHING the Dean can do about it. She's consistantly handed out at least 20 D's a semester for the past several years, which is ridiculous when in the rest of our classes we average A's and B's. When 40% of the class is in D range or below at this point in the semester, that doesn't reflect badly on us as students, it's HER. All we can do is show up at office hours and hope she'll remember where she put her soul.

I don't think that professors should pass us when we don't deserve it, but we've been busting our @$$ for this course - we're trying. It doesn't help that the practice problems don't reflect the material we've been taught either. Professors like this make the university and our program look bad.

Do not lose to Florida, Tennessee, Auburn, or Alabama this season. In fact, go undefeated and win the da*n BCS title for crying out loud. Quit blowing it like a bunch of pu$$ies and dig deep. I swear if I was playing right now I would murder that da*n bulldog if we have another mediocre season and bang all the cheerleaders

I feel as though I have no where else to do this, so...

It is almost unbelievable to me how much I HATE THIS F***ING CLASS.

Stop giving us so much unnecessary work, wasting our time in class, keeping us in there when you have nothing else planned, giving us assignments that take up as much outside time as a full-time JOB would, etc. etc. I'd say a full 85-90% of my stress this semester is from this single 1-hour stupid dumb required class. AWEOGUHAWOGUAHWGPJWPGAWOEUGHAG!!!!!!! It absolutely shouldn't be required for my major because IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY MAJOR. I HATE IT I HATE IT I HATE IT.

And yes, I know I'm whining like a 5-year-old.

Listen, I'm sure there are helpful teachers and TAs throughout your department, but overall, as a whole, you guys suck. The TAs don't answer emails and the professors don't seem very competent at what they teach. I admit the material isn't all that difficult, and I admit that some procedure and info is self explanatory. But when something is up in the air and is urgent, and most importantly, was not clarified by neither TA nor professor, you guys should at least attempt to explain or at the least say "hey, too bad, we don't give a s**t about you." Apparently, you don't have the dedication to do either. So f**k you. I'm not even doing poorly in the class and I think that. Think about the frustration you have caused towards those who are flunking the s**t out of your department. What are you hoping to achieve?

I think I'll take my money and go to GA Tech or Emory. I got into one, and never applied to the other. But I'm too concerned. Anything would be better than your pathetic excuse for "teaching prowess" or lack thereof. f**k you.

*is president of UGA*

*pays for personal jet to Bush inauguration and other personal or semi-personal expenditures from UGA foundation fund*

*announces severe budget cuts for UGA*

I know this isn't a huge deal, but...How freaking hard is it to go through the RIGHT DOOR?!?!? Especially when tons of people are entering/exiting the building at the same time. Good GRIEF. Do you drive on the wrong side of the road, too?

Whoever has been occupying the stall in the 4th floor gentleman's bathroom in the UGA library for the past 35 min...I just wanted to say thanks. I walked in and heard the rustling of newspaper and quickly exited--even if there had been two stalls, I wouldn't have gone in and "turd burglarized" you, which happened to me on the 3rd floor of the library several weeks ago (I would now suspect that maybe you were the culprit?), its common decency not to do so (kind of like talking to the man using the adjacent urinal). So, upon my return upwards of 40 min. later I see that you were still using the bathroom...why? I understand that sometimes things can get a little out of control--I believe it was Tom Servo from television's Mystery Science Theater 3000 who compared diarrhea to a storm raging inside one's self--but when I entered the second time, I heard no frantic wiping, just you taking a leisurely poo--treating a public (TAX PAYER FUNDED!) facility as though it were the 1/2 bath at your mother's house!
"What'd we have...Newsweek, U.S. News and World Report, ah, here we go. Reader's Digest. I'm going to take this into the bathroom because reading a guest column written by _____ takes my mind off my bowel movement made difficult by eating nothing but macaroni and cheese. Oh, look! My dad left a part of the local paper...I'll just check up on...Oh, gosh, it looks like they let Billy draw the comic this time. Boy oh boy, there is nothing I love better than sitting on a fecal infected chair with my pants down for extended periods of time!"

Date: Mon 7 Dec 11:00:48 EST 2009
Subject: Reception for Provost Mace

You are cordially invited to join colleagues and friends at the University in extending best wishes to Provost Arnett C. Mace, Jr. on his retirement:

[date]
[time]
[place]

I hope you will stop by to share your thanks and appreciation to Provost Mace for his many contributions to the University of Georgia

Sincerely,
Michael F. Adams
President